Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
