Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
