lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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