so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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