Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
