dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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