i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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