he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
