champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
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I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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