Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
