Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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