If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
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He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize