Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
