whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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