I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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