Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
