plz talk dirty to me
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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