4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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