I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
