How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
