it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
be right there i have to get my cape
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
