Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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