I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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