i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i now understand why vodka
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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