We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
