why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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