Banned from zoo.
Again?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
