i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
