I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
