I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
