I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
