The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
