I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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