My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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