so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
