Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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