btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
