I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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