I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
