Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
