I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
