Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
