Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
