those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
