Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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