help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize