What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
