I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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