Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Bring me that man meat
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
