And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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