Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
