News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
