I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
