i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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