I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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