What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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