we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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