Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
