i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize