Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
