I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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