so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
