Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
